I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
