why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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