You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
