We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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