How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
