He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
