I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize