i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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