Porn is love you can see.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
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You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
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We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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