Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
