It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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