What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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