I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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