i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Randomize