Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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