Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
