Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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