Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny