It's Friday. Sex?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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