i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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