In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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