Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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