Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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