is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
