Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
