is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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