you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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