so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
