Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
