Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
