Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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