i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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