Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
