Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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