these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
