Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So vagazzling was a success
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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