Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
