Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
