well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize