lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The power of my boobs compel you
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
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