omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
