What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
