thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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