You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
