end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize