There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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