Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
