No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just cropdusted the office
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
