So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize