You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
