stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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