it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
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