So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
