So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you would pick up someone in the library
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
