Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
