I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
