I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I have fence marks all over my body
The air taste purple.
Randomize
