so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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