well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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