is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
